Monday, April 26, 2010

Kiss Me

Hey Jude~

I have decided that a man that does not like nor want to kiss is not worth my time. "Irish" is not a toucher, hugger, cuddler, a kisser! So, besides the fact that he has no clue what he wants from me after 3 months...I say he gets moved to the "douche list"... it was fun while it lasted...and I have learned a valuable lesson...when a man won't kiss run run as fast as you can in the opposite direction! The only thing he can kiss is my Ass..."Irish"...what a disappointment! Tsk Tsk Tsk!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Blind,Deaf and Dumb

Hey Jude~

This has been on my mind for quite some time....

"Irish" & I have been "involved" for about 3 months, and I sometimes think things are moving along at a nice slow pace, then Ka-Boom....he "poofs"! It may be a day or 2, but regardless...I just don't get it. I feel like I may be deaf to what he's telling me.

I have hemmed and hawed on how to ask him if we are exclusive...I don't mind if he dates other woman, I just need to know that he's poking, me, and ONLY me.

Within the last month he has moved, traveled, opened a new clinic, and traveled again. His last excursion brought him to Florida...and he received some news that now leaves him to deal with feeling and emotions he has buried for many many years. He confided in me that he's horrible with expressing his emotions. How he believes he has made great strides with his current relationships, knowing that this is a negative attribute. I'm not too sure that I responded well to him. For many years, I was with a "locked box"...I adjusted to it and became numb to any emotion shared with me...I feel terrible and I don't know if the "Irish" will trust me and let me back in.

What to do? Is this how normal relationships start? Or am I just blind, deaf & dumb to it all?

Friday, April 16, 2010

My Apologies...

Hey Jude~

My I have not blogged for quite some time. Much to I sit in an over heated train car, with one Stoli soda digesting in my belly...I start to think about the 'Irish'. This relationship has been slinging around for over 3 months...and I still 'feel' for the kid. Amazing...perhaps its because I'm not reading into our situation. I have grown accustomed to communicating with various interests...not tying myself or obsessing about one little tasty morsel. I went on a 'one & done' date about a month ago. Yikes...guess he didn't fall for the 'black out' gal. Oooppss...shall I take the '2 drink max' rule into consideration? What fun could that be? Or the 'wait 3 months' rule? How about the 3 hours, 3 cocktails, or 3 meals rule??? does happen even to the best of us! He was extra 'Vanilla' anyway...probably why I drank too much, tried to entertain myself, not worth thank you!

Let's back track...just a few weeks...

I managed to re-connect with a gentleman I met about 10 years ago...we will call him 'Big Daddy'. “BD” is kind of a Big Deal. He's much older than me, and I appreciate a man that possesses true gentlemanly manners. He calls when he says he will call, picks me up, and drives me where I need to go. But I'm not certain this can or will develop into anything besides companionship, at his convenience. This may very well be exactly what we are both looking for. On our first date, he took me out for breakfast…his driver opened the door for me, “BD” escorted me out of the vehicle, and we proceeded to the entrance of the restaurant. He opened the door for me, and as soon as we walked in, I felt like arm candy for the first time in my life! Sweet bejebus...I’m not too sure I could grow accustomed to that lifestyle…

Let's introduce you to Douchy McDouche Bag. He was able to obtain my digits while I was having a date night with Mr. Stoli & Mr. Jameson! Let me just tell you...when those two & I's a threesome of debauchery! “DMB” lives out of state...and reminds me of a scumbag used car salesman! His lines were straight out of “Fast Times From Ridgemont High”...remember the Douche that Phoebe Cates was with??? Glad that turned into an emotionless texting bullshit Nada yada Nada! He finally got the hint when I text...'leave me alone...we are done here'...hasta...for...ever!!!!

That's all I have to report... for now...